T'was the Night Before Implementation

T'was the night before implementation and all through the office,

       Not a program was working, not Word, Excel, or any of Office.

 The techies all hung by their cubes in despair,

         With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.

 The users were nestled at home in their beds,

         While visions of productivity danced in their heads.

 When out in the server room there arose such a clatter,

         I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

 And what to my wondering eyes should appear,

         But a super programmer (with a six-pack of beer).

 Her resume glowed with experience so rare,

         She turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.

 More rapid than eagles, her programs they came,

         And she cursed and muttered and called them by name.

 On Update! On Add! On Inquiry! On Delete!

         On Batch Jobs! On Closings! On Functions Complete!

 Her eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,

         From weekends and nights in front of a screen.

 A wink of her eye and a twitch of her head,

         Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

 She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,

         Turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk.

 And laying her finger upon the "ENTER" key,

         The system came up and worked perfectly.

 The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted;

         The inquiries inquired, and closings completed.

 She tested each whistle, and tested each bell,

         With nary a bomb and all had gone well.

 The system was finished, the tests were complete,

         All of the users' last minute changes were entered, an incredible feat!

 And the next day the users exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,

         "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"

*John Stuart Edwards*